It is easie­st to accept hap­pi­ness when it is brought about through things that one can con­trol, that one has achie­ved after much effort and reason. But the hap­pi­ness I had rea­ched with Chloe had not come as a result of any per­so­nal achie­ve­ment or effort. It was sim­ply the out­co­me of having, by a mira­cle of divi­ne inter­ven­ti­on, found a per­son who­se com­pa­ny was more valuable to me than that of anyo­ne else in the world. Such hap­pi­ness was dan­ge­rous pre­cis­e­ly becau­se it was so lack­ing in self-suf­fi­ci­ent per­ma­nence. Had I after months of ste­ady labor pro­du­ced a sci­en­ti­fic for­mu­la that had rocked the world of mole­cu­lar bio­lo­gy, I would have had no qualms about accep­ting the hap­pi­ness that had ensued from such a dis­co­very. The dif­fi­cul­ty of accep­ting the hap­pi­ness Chloe repre­sen­ted came from my absence in the cau­sal pro­cess lea­ding to it, and hence my lack of con­trol over the hap­pi­ness-indu­cing ele­ment in my life. It see­med to have been arran­ged by the gods, and was hence accom­pa­nied by all the pri­mi­ti­ve fear of divi­ne retribution.

„All of man’s unhap­pi­ness comes from an ina­bi­li­ty to stay in his room alo­ne,“ said Pas­cal, advo­ca­ting a need for man to build up his own resour­ces over and against a debi­li­ta­ting depen­dence on the social sphe­re. But how could this pos­si­bly be achie­ved in love? Proust tells the sto­ry of Moham­med II, who, sens­ing that he was fal­ling in love with one of the wives in his harem, at once had her kil­led becau­se he did not wish to live in spi­ri­tu­al bon­da­ge to ano­ther. Short of this approach, I had long ago given up hope of achie­ving self-suf­fi­ci­en­cy. I had gone out of my room, and begun to love ano­ther – ther­eby taking on the risk inse­pa­ra­ble from basing one’s life around ano­ther human being.
(Alain de Bot­ton – On Love)